My brother is calling himself a nerd and a geek but he hates doctor who, sherlock, supernatural, harry potter, and hunger games. And hates reading. And tumblr.
Burn the heathen!
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: you have a child called richard!
Stranger: you are called richard!
You: I’M CALLED RICHARD?
You: It cannot be!
You: Anything but richard!
Stranger: you are!
Stranger: uhm.. Anthony it is!
You: errhmm yeah
You: I can fly with Anthony
You: Can I be called Ant for short?
Stranger: yeah sure thing ANt
Stranger: tiny tiny ant
You: Dammit Jason you know it winds me up when you capitalize my ‘n’
Stranger: I’m sorry ANt i didn’t mean to! But i’m not JAson
You: You’re not?!
You: if you aren’t JAson
You: then who?
Stranger: guessing time!
You: OH MA GAWH
You: YOU’RE VOLDEMORT.
Stranger: YEAH! Mmoahahaha! And i know you’re not ANt.. you’re… NEVILLE!!
You: actually, it’s er… well. It’s Colin. Colin Creevy.
Stranger: your name is Colin? :)
You: Yes, that small one that aimlessly follows harry begging for his autograph.
and okay! Let me just get some of this backdrop going, bit of lighting here, some flash there and a tad of makeup. There! We’re ready! Say: “Ikilledharry’sparentsandrofledintheprocess”!!!
You: [bright flash]
You: [whirring noise]
You: There you go!
Stranger: can you see my nose?
You: One for the memory books I’d say!
Stranger: TELL ME!
Stranger: CAN YOU SEE IT OR NOT?!
Stranger: WHERE IS IT?!
You: erhm… no-…not exactly!
Stranger: AAAAARGH!! *kills random people*
You: That weird looking gimp with the lighting bolt scar on his head has it between his thumb and his forefinger!
You: kill him!
Stranger: Avada kedavra!
You: [harry drops dead]
Stranger: that was easy..
You: that’s a twist no one saw coming… guess you win the wizarding war huh?
Stranger: yeah! I should get a reward for that!
You: Another photograph?
Stranger: naah.. i’d prefer Dumbledore’s wand
You: Good choice sire
Stranger: i know.
Stranger: now hand it to me
You: [grabs wand and hands it to Voldemort]
Stranger: Thank you little boy.
Stranger: ooh i mean..
Stranger: now get the fuck out of my vision!
Stranger: sight* lol
You: We would have been much better story tellers than J.K.Rowling
Stranger: uhm yeah?!
Stranger: this is like the new NY best seller
You: lol jk. NO ONE is better than J.K. NO ONE.
You: AVADA KEDAVRA
You have disconnected.